Three Things I Wish I Knew About Leading a Residential Community
For six years, my wife Rev. Amilie Paynter and I led a residential community made up of young adults, committed to youth work. I am discerning what it looks like to start another community after God called our family to move from central Wellington to the semi-rural town of Ohakune.
A common question I get asked is, “What do you wish you had known about leading a community before you started?” Am and I have four kids, and have also been asked, “What did you wish you knew before becoming a parent?” I find there are a lot of similarities between the two. Both community and family are aspects of life that if you explained them out of context people would wonder why on earth you made those life choices.
If I was to say that I have chosen a life that has led to thirteen years (and counting) of consistent broken sleep, most people would suggest a change in lifestyle. When I say that I have been a parent of young children for the last thirteen years it makes a lot more sense. Yes, broken sleep is hard. Yes, parenting is hard. What else is true is that my children consistently provide me with incredible moments of joy and have made my life all the richer. Living in residential community, to me at least, is the same.
Here are three fundamental truths that I have learnt over the last few years that have heavily shaped how I have led in a community context that have helped make the hard times worth it.
1. Culture is king
When people are asking me what I wish I knew before starting a residential community what they often are after asking is for mechanical processes. This is because in a western context we tend to be all about mechanisms. Our natural inclination is to try and set up processes and structures that will make life easier and to rely on those structures and processes to carry our community.
The problem with this is that mechanisms can only be a vehicle for culture, they cannot create it. The culture that you create, model and imbibe will have far more influence than any process you put in place. A residential community with strong processes and weak culture is like a church with a strong community presence but lacks love for its community. Sure, you can do it. In the end though you are just a “resounding gong” (1 Corinthians 13:1). What you need to keep in mind is that you are leading/building a community, not a business.
What is community if not just another name for family?
2. Keep things simple
One way that allows you to keep a strong culture is to keep things simple and streamlined. The natural urge when trying to plant and grow a residential community is to change and adapt the heart and vision of your community in order to cater for people who want to join, but won’t do so if it means doing something in particular they don’t like.
Whilst leading AYM Houses I would always hear, “But what about the people who don’t want to do youth work?” My response was, “Then there are other communities I can put them in touch with.” It may sound cold and harsh but the truth was that the more options that you put on the table, the harder it is to get everyone on the same page. The harder it is to get everyone on the same page, the easier it is for people to feel like they are doing more than others, and schisms within the community are created.
Know who you are and what you do and stick to it.
3. Hard is the foundation of good
I want to be very clear with this, there is a difference between hard and damaging. Going to the gym and engaging in exercise that helps to grow strength and fitness is hard. Running an ultra-marathon without any training or the correct equipment is damaging. The two are very different. It is easy to let culture slip. It is easy to compromise in order to grow. It is easy to abandon rhythms when life is busy or hard. These easy things, however, will lead to a fragmented residential community that accomplishes little because it doesn’t know who or what it is.
It’s like family. It’s hard to be a healthy family, but you know what’s important in your family and hold to that.
Rev. Luke Paynter
Rev. Luke Paynter is a husband to Rev. Amilie Paynter. He and his family live at the base of Mt Ruapehu where he spends his time frying chicken, studying theology and prayerfully listening to God around what planting a new faith community in Ohakune would look like.